this really happened

Ok, so last week, when Jami Sherman was over visiting, I dragged her to the supermarket with me. I hate food shopping (I am not an organized thinker) and it's even more distracting with a baby in tow, so I made Sherman come help me and my feeble, sleep-deprived mind. While we were there, she got to witness first-hand what I am calling the grocery store phenomenon.



So we know, everybody loves babies. They do. And nowhere is this more apparent, for some totally random reason, than in the freaking grocery store. I swear, we get more love in the grocery store than we do all week at the mall, library, and playground combined. It's crazy. Grocery store people looooooove babies. But none of them love MY baby more than my new friend Raymond, manager at the new Safeway on 5th street. It's true. Jami Sherman is my witness.


We met Raymond in front of the refrigerated meats department. We were standing there, and I was looking for any sort of meat that looked like it could be grilled, put in a crock pot, or made into a loaf (the three things i know how to do with meat) when we heard a booming voice ring out from behind us-


-A Baby! A BABY! Look everybody, come look and see! It's a BABY!


Jami and I were looking around to see if the voice was talking about MY baby when Raymond approached us.


-Hi ladies! HI BABY! Look at this baby! Is this your baby? He's beautiful! Hey, SIR! (he grabbed some unsuspecting gamer-looking twenty-five year old walking by) Do you see this baby!


-Um, what? says the guy


-THE BABY! LOOK AT THIS BABY! WHAT'S HIS NAME? (Grady, I whispered) GRADY! LOOK AT GRADY!


-Uh, ok- the guy says .


-SAY HELLO TO THE BABY!- Raymond ordered. -SAY HELLO TO BABY GRADY!!


This poor kid had probably never even seen a baby this close before, never mind had to talk to one.-Um, hi, um, baby- he said, and then he ran. Fast. We were watching him hightail it out of there when Raymond started yelling at me again.


-HEY MOM! DO YOU HAVE A BABYBOOK?


-uh, mmmhhmmm? yeahmm? I stammered (I didn't know what he was talking about. did he mean a scrapbook? a safeway coupon book for babies? a book about how to raise babies?)


-WELL THEN- at this point Raymond walked us over to a pair of swinging double doors and left us there while he went through, picked up the phone, and boomed at us over the loudspeaker -NOW PUT THIS IN YOUR BABYBOOK!!


And then he started to sing. Over the loudspeaker.


WELCOME TO SAAAAAFEWAY, BABY GRADY (Hey! Everybody! Come see this little baby!)
IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME AT SAAAAAAAFEWAY, LITTLE BABY (He's in aisle 8, near the meats!)
WE HOPE YOU LIKE IT AT SAAAAAAAAAFEWAY LITTLE BABY GRADY BABY (He's with his mom and auntie! show them some safeway love!)
ALWAYS SHOP AT SAAAAAAAAAAAAFEWAY, BABY GRADY!


Ok, I know I exaggerate sometimes on this blog but I am not exaggerating. This seriously happened. I was laughing my ass off while simultaneously dying of embarassment. Raymond is the most exuberant employee of any industry that I've ever encountered. He loves him some babies, and he loves him some Safeway. And he sang us a song to celebrate them both.





Thanks for the serenade, Raymond- this is definitely going in the babybook.