this really happened

Ok, so last week, when Jami Sherman was over visiting, I dragged her to the supermarket with me. I hate food shopping (I am not an organized thinker) and it's even more distracting with a baby in tow, so I made Sherman come help me and my feeble, sleep-deprived mind. While we were there, she got to witness first-hand what I am calling the grocery store phenomenon.



So we know, everybody loves babies. They do. And nowhere is this more apparent, for some totally random reason, than in the freaking grocery store. I swear, we get more love in the grocery store than we do all week at the mall, library, and playground combined. It's crazy. Grocery store people looooooove babies. But none of them love MY baby more than my new friend Raymond, manager at the new Safeway on 5th street. It's true. Jami Sherman is my witness.


We met Raymond in front of the refrigerated meats department. We were standing there, and I was looking for any sort of meat that looked like it could be grilled, put in a crock pot, or made into a loaf (the three things i know how to do with meat) when we heard a booming voice ring out from behind us-


-A Baby! A BABY! Look everybody, come look and see! It's a BABY!


Jami and I were looking around to see if the voice was talking about MY baby when Raymond approached us.


-Hi ladies! HI BABY! Look at this baby! Is this your baby? He's beautiful! Hey, SIR! (he grabbed some unsuspecting gamer-looking twenty-five year old walking by) Do you see this baby!


-Um, what? says the guy


-THE BABY! LOOK AT THIS BABY! WHAT'S HIS NAME? (Grady, I whispered) GRADY! LOOK AT GRADY!


-Uh, ok- the guy says .


-SAY HELLO TO THE BABY!- Raymond ordered. -SAY HELLO TO BABY GRADY!!


This poor kid had probably never even seen a baby this close before, never mind had to talk to one.-Um, hi, um, baby- he said, and then he ran. Fast. We were watching him hightail it out of there when Raymond started yelling at me again.


-HEY MOM! DO YOU HAVE A BABYBOOK?


-uh, mmmhhmmm? yeahmm? I stammered (I didn't know what he was talking about. did he mean a scrapbook? a safeway coupon book for babies? a book about how to raise babies?)


-WELL THEN- at this point Raymond walked us over to a pair of swinging double doors and left us there while he went through, picked up the phone, and boomed at us over the loudspeaker -NOW PUT THIS IN YOUR BABYBOOK!!


And then he started to sing. Over the loudspeaker.


WELCOME TO SAAAAAFEWAY, BABY GRADY (Hey! Everybody! Come see this little baby!)
IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME AT SAAAAAAAFEWAY, LITTLE BABY (He's in aisle 8, near the meats!)
WE HOPE YOU LIKE IT AT SAAAAAAAAAFEWAY LITTLE BABY GRADY BABY (He's with his mom and auntie! show them some safeway love!)
ALWAYS SHOP AT SAAAAAAAAAAAAFEWAY, BABY GRADY!


Ok, I know I exaggerate sometimes on this blog but I am not exaggerating. This seriously happened. I was laughing my ass off while simultaneously dying of embarassment. Raymond is the most exuberant employee of any industry that I've ever encountered. He loves him some babies, and he loves him some Safeway. And he sang us a song to celebrate them both.





Thanks for the serenade, Raymond- this is definitely going in the babybook.

the stairmaster

Time for some serious babygates- El Nino has mastered climbing stairs:

Success!

So, Gray turns 8 months tomorrow, holy crap. It seems like 8 YEARS since he was born, and yet time is also flying. Surreal. In the past month, he's pretty much just been moving like crazy. He cruises the furniture, letting go pretty frequently and standing for a few seconds, then falling on his little padded butt. He did take 3 unassisted steps the other day, from the ottoman to the couch, but we're pretty sure that was just a fluke of momentum. However, all signs do point to him walking in the very near future. I'm excited for him to start walking, he's not a baby that likes to sit still and listen to you read a book (um, ever- the only way I'm able to read to him is if I follow him while he's crawling, shouting out paragraphs as he speed-crawls away from me. Sigh. That's totally his father, btw- I am nothing if not a huge reader). Anyway, it's much harder to find activities for babies who only crawl- once they start walking, I feel like our options are going to expand exponentially. So I'm stoked.

Bust a move, small fry.

sweet dreams

We have not been getting much of this lately in our household:

Last night the little insomniac woke up seven times. SEVEN! And he has been sleeping this poorly for almost ten nights. Aaaaaargh. JC and I are sooooooo tired. He seemed to be feeling better today, so maybe he'll sleep better tonight? Seriously, he has to. I am running on fumes and coke zero over here.

One of my friends asked me the other day, what would I do if I had 24 hours free from the baby to do whatever I wanted? Would I do laundry, catch up on household projects? (HA!) Go out shopping? Go to the movies? Day trip to the beach?

Answer: none of the above. I would do this:

I would rent a room at the Four Seasons hotel, climb my fat butt into bed, and not get out again except to use the bathroom or answer the door for room service. I would seriously stay in bed for 24 hours straight. Security would have to come throw me out at checkout time. Seriously. Terrifically lazy? Absolutely. A huge waste of money? Yes sirree bob! Do I care? Not even remotely. THIS IS MY DREAM, PEOPLE. Don't knock it.

Sleep deprivation is NO JOKE.

recap

So, now I understand why kids are occasionally referred to as "snot-nosed little brats". Well, not the brat part- that's a little rude. But the snot-nosed moniker is sure ringing true in our house these days. Gray has now had a profusely runny nose for the last 8 days. It cleared up a little on Thursday, and I thought he had turned a corner. Not so. I'm giving it 6 more days and then we're off to the doc. I'm hesitant to go before then because I reeeeally don't want him on antibiotics if we can help it. Besides, he's not super fussy, although his eating has been a little off. Oh, and his sleeping has been atrocious. And, he's now totally freaked by the bulb syringe; even the mere sight of it sends him scrambling. On a brighter note, his cough is almost completely gone. Can you see the crusty boogs in this picture? His nose is a horror show. We almost made a mom friend in the neighborhood today, until she came in for a closer look, saw Graydon's atrocious nasal activity, and hightailed it out of there without another glance in our direction. The fact that I hadn't showered and Stella was growling probably didn't help much, either.

So I was going to blog about the wedding we went to in Pennsylvania last weekend, but all the pictures I took there came out like crap. Suffice it to say, I went up without JC (he was at VA Tech for a football game) and it will be a cold day in hell before I take the baby anywhere solo again. Not that my relatives weren't awesome and totally helping out (my brother Jeff was amazingly good with the baby- and my aunt Dawn was lovely enough to hold him for a good half hour at the wedding so that I could hit the open bar :)- actually, Dawn had a very calming influence on Graydon, and he sat uncharacteristically still on her lap for a long while. I wonder if we can con her into coming down and babysitting? :) However, Grady is such a freaking nightmare in the car (screaming non-stop for HOURS) that it just cast a pall on the entire trip. Everytime we had to drive somewhere, it was a disaster. It would have been tough even with JC, but without him? Forget it.

Here he is in his carseat, aka the ultimate instrument of torture:

After the wedding, we spent the whole week tending to the sick bebe, and then on Thursday night, Jami Sherman came! She's in town for a wedding.

We hung out all of Friday, and then on Friday night, we let this guy babysit:

while JC, Jami, Candace and I went out to dinner. It was sooooo great to get out of the house, and surprisingly, the baby was still in one piece when we returned. Thanks again Poppa T!

Saturday we went to the H Street Festival with my friend Amy and her son Bobby (aka "the bull"- he is 4 months old and 18 lbs!) and then on Sunday we hit up Eastern Market. It was a long week, and a busy weekend, and by the end of it, we were all in need of a cocktail:

Here's to hoping that this snot-nosed kid gets better soon.

AKA

Graydon, Grady, Gray, Gray-man, Gray-Gray, Gi-Gi, Buddy, Little Man, Bam-Bam, Stinks, Stinks McStinkerson, Senor Stinkypants, Big guy, Babycakes, Babykins, Big blue, Meltdown Man.

cameo!

The baby is still pouring rivers of snot out of his nose, and hacking, and crying, and today was tough, and I am beat. As such, I am handing the blogging reins over today to JC's Uncle Al, who was in town this weekend and took some fantastic pictures of the baby pre-his current disease-stricken state. So consider this post courtesy of Alan Schmitz, photographer-at-large. Thanks!

Doesn't he look like a miniature politician here? Wuh-oh.

Hanging with Great-grandma Jules:

I love this picture, even though I think he looks more like a 3 year old than a 7 month old:

Great-grandpa Alfred, clearly not impressed with Graydon's pipes:

There, much better:

And finally, the man behind the lens! Thanks, Uncle Al for the great pictures!

the inevitable

Baby is sick. Snot flowing out of his nose, coughing all night long, not sleeping, not eating, generally miserable, SICK. ugh. I knew we had it coming after travelling for two weekends straight. I guess I'm lucky that this is the first time he's been really sick in his short life so far. He started coughing on Sunday, kept it up on Monday, and then last night it morphed into a fullblown horror show. Poor, poor baby. Nobody slept, and JC and I took turns trying to bulb suction out his little nose, with pretty much no success, as he would shriek and turn his head whenever we came within 3 feet of his face with the bulb syringe. And he is quick. And strong. Even with the two of us tag teaming, he was too wily. So now he just has literally rivers running down his face and his nose is all red. Poor guy! I feel so badly for him. Right now he is laying on the floor, looking at the TV. That is really how I know he's sick- I've never seen him just lie on the floor before. Never. Ever. Ugh. Hopefully this runs its course quickly.

the schmitz blitz

JC's grandparents and Uncle Al, also known as the Schmitzes, came into town yesterday from Michigan to visit for the week. Great-grandma Jules had met Graydon once before, but this was his first introduction to Uncle Al and Great-grandpa Alfred. And, as expected, everyone seemed to hit it off! The baby was in a very congenial mood, which I'm sure was helped by all of the fabulous toys the Schmitzes were kind enough to bring him:



Here are some pics from our day together.

The Great-Grandparents htting Grady's sweet spots:



Grandma Jules, always popular:








Three generations whooping it up:








Bonding with everyone's favorite uncle, Uncle Al:

Uncle Al, telling stories and giving Graydon ideas, uh oh!

Succumbing to Great-grandpa's irresistible charms:

Clearly an inside joke:

Now they're telling each other secrets, oh boy:

Great-grandpa Alfred is definitely a hit! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!

home again

So, we made it. The trip was a whirlwind and I am still exhausted. I'm happy to report that the baby was actually really well behaved. JC, a little less so :) But that's a story for another day.

Thanks to Tracy Ward and some helpful baby traveling hints, this was the scene on the plane ride up to Vermont:

Sweeeeet. He slept for roughly half the ride. We had a bag full of distractions but didn't even need to use most of them. Such a good boy.

We stayed at an amazing inn in Stowe, and it became the gathering point for everyone in town for the wedding.

All of JC's friends were surprisingly good with the baby....

....even though they did keep trying to get him drunk:

As always, his favorite times of the day were when he got to roughhouse with his daddy:

Isn't that such a sweet smile! He is really becoming so well behaved, and so happy! Such a dramatic change from the first six months. Thank you thank you thank you Jesus.

Oh, and finally here is a picture of Gray's elusive bottom teeth:

I keep thinking that he's teething again, but so far no sign of any more chompers.

When wedding time rolled around, we made sure Graydon was looking dapper:

If you look closely you can see that the left side of his face is all banged up. This is because he took a major header into the hotel coffee table. Poor little dude. He is at the stage where he is constantly falling over and bonking his head. We try to baby proof the best we can, but he creates new ways to hurt himself daily. Poor baby. He's pretty stoic about it all, though.

Before we left the rolling green hills of Vermont for the urban jungle we call home, we let Graydon experience grass for the first time, and he was impressed:

Nature boy! He loved it! Hopefully that will tide him over for a few years- there's only one patch of grass in our neighborhood and all the dogs pee there.

freaking!

We are all heading to JC's friend Chris' wedding tomorrow. In Vermont. 7 hours away by car Vermont. When faced with the choice of spending 7 hours in the car with an ADHD baby who barely tolerates his car seat or flying and possibly risking him getting sick and seriously pissing off an entire airplane of strangers, we chose option B. US Air here we come. Apologies in advance to anyone sitting in our row/anywhere near us/on the plane in general.

I am currently taking a break from packing because it is kicking my butt. JC told me the other day that he thought we should only bring one suitcase and the diaper bag. Ha. HA! HAHAHAHAHA! I am still laughing about that one. Currently the tally is at four bags plus one
stroller and I'm not even done packing..

As a matter of fact, I am strongly considering packing another bag just for straws and plastic bottles:

Oh, and golf balls:

We leave tomorrow morning at 10 am. Look for us on the news.